Friday 1 May 2009

The 10:21am Val and John Show

This morning, Radio 4CA bent over and took a red hot poker where the sun doesn't shine.

The Mayor's 'Friday Radio hour' started late, very late. No one knows why, we weren't told. John was not happy. He was short and hardly a word was uttered while Val had the airwaves. The usually buoyant Macca, was gone.

It started like a runaway Tilt Train:

"You may have a query or a point to make with the Mayor, regardless of what it is. Call 4031 1846 now. And first up we've got Shorty on the line. Hello, you're talking with Val," Mackenzine exclaimed as if he was fresh out of an Evelyn Wood speed reading course.

There was no welcome. No announcement that the Mayor had finally arrived in the studio or why everything was running so late.

"Gudday Mrs Mayor," the caller said from the stix, who appeared to be connected on a piece of string and baked bean can.

"Yeah gidday Shorty," Val responded, in true Machans Beach charm, resolute with her tongue firmly hidden in her cheek.

"Just before we go ahead Shorty," Val interrupted.... "I want to thank John, John Mackenzie and the station, for putting me on at no cost to the Council this morning. I'm sure that you and some of the other listeners really appreciate it."

"Yeah, we've already made that clear," Mackenzie snapped back, and closed down the discussion, about the surprising turn around in events.

"OK," said Val, as she felt suitably put in her place, like a naughty schoolgirl. She was censured.

Then came Bob and Barry and Mary-Ann, to get a pot hole fixed; the stink from the sewerage plant cleaned up; and a blocked guttering attended to.

Gordon from Freshwater rounded off the most boring 37 minutes of radio I've ever endured. Like mum said, never buy a car that was made on a Friday.

"See you next Friday," Macca concluded, with an obvious strain being lifted.

"No, I won't be in, I will be away from Cairns next week," Val said.

"Alright, I guess we'll get someone, some other Councillor in," Mackenzie hastily wrapped up the session. It was like he was at the dentist, and couldn't wait to get out of the chair.

There was no goodbye. No hugging. Not chuckling. Not even a tickle under the armpit. As quick as Val arrived, she was shunted out of the cramped AM studio, without a by-your-leave.

Prior to the Mayor arriving in the studio, John Mackenzie made a blurry mention, faster than an Alan Blake Code of Conduct enquiry, that the Mayor would appear and there was no costs associated.

It appears that someone put pressure on 4CA to not charge a bean for the arrangement, hoping that the whole messy drama and scrutiny will go away. However, this will not be the end of the scandal that has engulfed Cairns Regional Council over the last 9 days. Two Council investigations are underway to find out who agreed to what and why Councillors and the Mayor were not informed. An investigation by the Australian Communications and Media Authority is also underway to find out why Radio 4CA did not announce on air, that the Mayor's session was a paid arrangement.

I felt like I just lost 35 minutes of my life. Never again.


Bryan Law said...

Poor old John. Having to do what a woman wants. And not just any woman, but she-devil Schier herself.

If wigs could turn grey!

Bryan Outlaw said...

Once again, Bryan Law expresses his disdain at anyone that's accomplished something in their lives. It's such a contrast to his own pathetic, inconsequential existence.

Pointless commenter said...

Are you a stalker Bryan Outlaw?

John, Kuranda said...

Well I have to agree with Mike about the entertainment value of this morning’s radio show.

After listening until 10.45 I was so enthralled (read bored sh#$less), that I could not tolerate any more.

Where was the witty repartee that normally characterises talkback? Where was the lilt in the voice of the presenters?

This was about as entertaining as a death dirge.

Sure the problems were real; but there is something seriously wrong with the workings of the CRC if the only way issues of this calibre can be resolved, was to go on the Mackenzie show this morning.

John Broadleys' smile said...

Hmmmm, so it seems there isn't a financial arrangement now to have the Mayor on air. It really is a community service to have her on, as it should be.

Well, that vindicates Val, but Macca stated that Byrne/Val would not have been on air had it not been for a 'commercial arrangement' with council. So it seems 4CA have been found out, and have suddenly started to do the right thing.

So what was this 'arrangement' then, that Macca mentions regarding Byrne? If that is looked into by the appropriate authorities, 4CA may be well and truly in the poo.

The karma police are in action.

Blogster said...

I listened too and thought nothing much of it. I don't understand what you are all complaining about.

Really, I don't even care why Val was late - I didn't even notice.

The callers were boring as all hell, to the point of annoying (the grey nomad with his 30ft trailer who can't park along the Esplanade to have a cup of coffee - spare me). Those sort of calls lend themselves to fireworks. Actually, calls hardly ever do on John's show if you ask me.

Outlaw, what exactly is it that Macca has accomplished apart from holding a job (i.e. hosting a radio show)? Man, you really have to find some better ammo if you want to have a go at Bryan Law.

Since when is Macca's show considered 'entertainment'? Well, maybe... I must admit

And who else thinks that Macca is a 'buoyant'?

nocturnal congress said...

Yes, what was the "arrangement" McKenzie had with Byrne? Where is the contract? ROUND ONE goes to Val on her battle for TRANSPARENCY IN THE CAIRNS REGIONAL COUNCIL.
(And thanks to Mike for his exceptional investigatory skills and acumen!)

NotThe Chaser said...

This silliness within the Council, and outside of it, is getting out of hand.

Val Schier, Noel Briggs, Kerrie Hull, John McKenzie, this person, that person.... point the finger where you like, but what is currently going on is a travesty of common sense. How did it come to this?

Bring back Tom Pyne!!!

Hang on, let him enjoy his retirement.

Bring on Rob Pyne!!

I feel Rob's Dad was considered fair and even-handed in his council dealings, and combined this with a good dose of common sense and humour.

Rob Pyne seems to be showing this is inherited.

Alan said...

The Mayor and 4CA: Who needs who here?
Why does Val even bother with McKenzie's pathetic talk-back show? It's ratings are a joke, and only the old die-hards remain tuned in to this pompous waste of oxygen.
Val, there are better and less divisive ways of communicating with your electorate (Our ABC, community radio, newsletters (with rates and/or water bills), be available at different library branches on a rotation).

Serialee said...

So Val panders to the moronic Bogans that listen to commercial radio, but what about the rest of the community that understand words with more than 3 syllables and don't listen to that crap. Please tell me they are in the majority?

Pis Torf said...

Local Community radio would be good for local issues such as a regular Council Report as it had in previous years - minus the cash for comment. But it is a bit of a joke at the moment. Don't annoy them with the realities and responsibilities of a community radio license. I think they're having an afternoon nap.
Personally I listen to community radio on the internet. It is much more relevant than the current local Grandad's Community Radio club.

Syd Walker said...

A selection of the Mayor's media encounters could also be available on her website, for the benefit of those who miss them live. Her blog could include media releases, community annoucements, YouTube clips, jottings and other goodies - and be a base for an email newsletter.

All this is not an alternative to communication via the mass media, but complements it. Val could take a leaf out of Rob Pyne's book; he uses the web effectively. I wonder why she doesn't?

Not enough help and too much hindrance, I suppose.

If I was cursed with seditious dogs I probably wouldn't get any blogging done either. :-)

S. Northy said...

McKenzie's weekly hour with the Mayor has been so long running now in Cairns, it rivals "Blue Hills".
Nonetheless, it gives many people access to the Mayor to raise problems which concern them ie blocked drains, overgrown grass etc.
Somebody raised the matter, right at the beginning, that radio stations, under the terms of their licensing agreement, are obligated to provide a certain amount of free onair time for community service.
This latest development, with Val appearing onair for free, would support that.

alan said...

Blocked drains and overgrown grass are not really issues that need to go to mayoral level, there's a CRC call centre and web site for that sort of thing.

Clifton Ratbag said...

I agree with Alan that "CRC has a call centre" for council services.

If they were doing their job, you would think that there would be no need for the citizenry to call and bitch to the mayor. The fact that they do shows full well that council is either inadequately staffed, or just plain mismanaged.

Tony Hillier said...

"Pis Torf" makes a valid observation, alluding to the sad decline of community radio in Cairns.

4CCR-FM, to quote its original call-sign, was once a potent alternative media voice in Cairns and environs (as Radio Port Douglas currently is in "Port", albeit as a narrowcaster with a strictly limited 'footprint')

4CCR had real balls. Now, to extend the metaphor, it is a eunuch, with pretty well all manifestation of serious community pretension excised, save perhaps for a commitment to ethnic groups (which provide the bulk of its funding). For example, in the 'nineties, the station broadcast an informative and entertaining Saturday morning magazine program called 'G'day It's Saturday' (hosted by Denis Walls) that was compulsive listening for all who took an interest in local affairs.

Sadly, over the last decade, the station has reverted to its original existence of being something akin to a cosy private radio club,hosted and listened to by only a handful of initiates.

Unknown said...

And don't forget the excellent weekly blues program that was a pleasure to listen too. And someone even had the audacity to devote several programs to Frank Zappa ! I can't remember I have ever heard him on any radio station anywhere in the world before. Fabulous stuff.

The only reason I listen to 4 CA on occasions is , because it is the only station (except ABC) that deals with local issues at all. The commercial FM stations are so incredibly dumbed down, repetitive and boring that I can't stand listening to them.

I'm sure they exchange music tapes between them. They all play the same old boring "hits and memories " ( do they know that most 60's and 70's bands actually made more than 3 songs) or endlessly replay the flavour of the day interspersed with annoying ads. It's depressing...