Sunday 10 May 2009

Being Australian

This is doing the rounds, so thought I'd share, to cheer up your damp weekend...

Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for A Belgian beer,
then on the way home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

Only in Australia can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Australia do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Australia do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a Diet coke.

Only in Australia do banks leave both doors wide open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Australia do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to emergency in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

In 2000, eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

Disclaimer: I'm a Kiwi, an overstayer, and proud of it.


Jude Johnston said...

Mike, ya know you're gonna bring on the Sheep Jokes with this.

Sally Sara said...

Glad some one commented Jude

I just want to ask if the PEW group can lobby to extend the proposed Coral Sea Conservation area southwards so as to to completely seal off New Zealunders?

Michael P Moore said...

Jude, us Kiwis probably know more sheep jokes than Aussies do!