Friday 13 June 2008

Return of the Caption contest

It's been awhile. But all good things are worth waiting for, my little munchkins.

Today marks the return of the infamous CairnsBlog caption contest!

As usual, first prize will be a weekend holiday away with the former Cairns Mayor Kevin Byrne. Second prize will be two weekends away with Kev.

I took today's caption contest photo (below) at the one and only public community forum for Division 9. This contest was against Janine Aitken in the Red Corner, and Sno Bonneau in the Bright Red Corner. It wasn't a fight over left Vs right. More a fight over sexy Vs old sexy.

Former Councillor and Sno Ant mate, Annette Sheppard, turned up 30 minutes early, armed with "Cairns 1st this way" red and blue posters from her home printer. Kinda funny really. She and Sno were attempting to make the point that the meeting was orchestrated by Janine and her Cairns 1st buddies.

I'm the first to admit that there was a real desire on the part of Janine's mob to get a public meeting underway. Their motivation was two-fold.

One: Sno hates public meetings. Well-known factiod number one. He hasn't been to one community residents' meeting since been re-elected. Sno infamously told the Clifton Beach Stirrers Association, that he doesn't go to their meetings, because their invitations always come too late. He again made that announcement at the night of the community forum at Smithfield Tavern. Me thinks he simply doesn't like the fact he'd have to come face-to-face with his residents who like asking questions.

The other reason why Janine was keen on a public meeting during the campaign, is because that's what political campaigns are all about. Open debate of issues. Being held accountable for what you've achieved or not. An opportunity for the community to raise concerns and find out candidates' plans and proposals for the future. Otherwise they simply have to rely on your glossy propaganda. I mean, anyone can write advertising speak to bullshit and confuse the masses. After being in office for many years, you acquire a certain skill at it.

Regardless of who organised it, the meeting did occur. It happened on a wet, wet northern beaches night, and in a horrible venue with the noisiest roof from the pounding tropical rain and neighbouring pub patrons. There was a mixed bag of followers, and a few deadbeats from either side of the political fence. There were also set up stooges on either side, that appeared to be ready to shout and ignore the chair's direction to shut the eff up when politely asked.

It was, not the most orderly political meeting I've ever been too. Never the less, it served some sort of purpose. I got some handy cam footage of Sno being an absolute gentlemen to the gathered constituents. This rare footage will sell on Ebay in years to come for a fortune I'm sure.

Janine, dressed in a polite understatement to blend in with the pub curtains, did her best impression of a girl-next-door about to commit a heinous murder. She was a real delight to listen to. So was Sno. They sat either side of the lectern, whilst JCU economics Professor Doug Hunt was trying to hold the fort, amid quickfire abuse coming from the floor. It was worth skipping The Simpsons for.

I've ranted a little, but I merely wanted to give you all a glimpse into a evening that should have been shared by more. These events are fun. Messy dirty fun, but fun all the same. It was like having a blowie with your cousin's friend behind the bike sheds. Kinda hope know one finds out, but left you with a smirk on your face for at least an hour.

So, please do your darnest. As always, I'll start the ball rolling...

  1. "Sno, you look at me with that fake grin one more time, and I will bitch slap you."
  2. "On behalf of the Mayor Kevin Byrne, Hedly and CEC, I'd like to say thank you for keeping me in this job..."
  3. "I have way more cleavage than Ms Aitken, I can assure you."
  4. "What? The Smithfield Tavern is 'historic'? Maybe it's about time to let the developers in on that joke!"
  5. "Sno, you have a lovely tie and sense of style. Now go home and see how the rest of the community dresses up in these here parts."
  6. ....your turn....


Janine Aitken said...

"Actually Sno, that person has a point, you ARE arrogant"

Anonymous said...

"Annette, Shhhhh dont get so defensive on my behalf, I can take this young kid on"

Anonymous said...

Since Sno has a very spooky resemblance to Delbert Grady - The Shining, maybe this movie quote is in order.....

"Perhaps they need a good talking to, if you don't mind my saying so. Perhaps a bit more. My girls, sir, they didn't care for the Overlook at first. One of them actually stole a pack of matches, and tried to burn it down. But I "corrected" them sir. And when my wife tried to prevent me from doing my duty, I "corrected" her."

As this is total plagiarism, if I win or even better, come in 2nd, please forward my prize to Stephen King. Being the "king of horror" he might appreciate a vacation with Kev!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm...if I talk sh*t long enough maybe she'll nod off long enough for me to get to that bar.