Fear and Loathing in Cairns Pub

When a Cairns story makes international headlines, it’s usually for one of two reasons.

Either a scientific team somewhere or other has discovered that the Great Barrier Reef is even closer to perdition than we’d previously thought – or someone in Cairns has been so mind-bogglingly naff that it stands out, even in our crazy world, like the proverbial dogs balls.

This story falls into the latter category.

I’d be tempted to dismiss it as a publicity stunt for the author of ‘The Unknown Terrorist’, but regrettably this saga is all too believable.

The hapless Mr Chalk may, in fact, have been rather lucky to be accosted by a bouncer who was rather ‘soft on terror’.

What is the correct procedure if a suspected ‘unknown terrorist’ is sighted in Cairns, I wonder?

The pub’s bouncer apparently thought it was sufficient to ask the offender to leave. While this may suffice for drunks, it scarcely does a ‘terrorist’ justice. Do we really want these people peddling unknown terror outside licensed premises,... in the streets of this fine city, on the hill slopes or around the beaches?

The right thing to do, I imagine, is to keep the suspect under observation while a colleague calls the ‘anti-terrorism’ line on 1800 123 400 (another tax-payer funded absurdity that enjoys bipartisan support).

If the Cairns police are anything like their London counterparts, this will lead, from time to time, to the summary execution of the suspect, even if he happens to be a completely different bloke.

Some may find this harsh, but it is, of course, a small price to pay to keep our city safe from the scourge of terrorism.

Many pay a higher price. Ask an Iraqi.

• Article by CairnsBlog contributing writer Sid Walker