Friday, 16 November 2007

Fear and Loathing in Cairns Pub

When a Cairns story makes international headlines, it’s usually for one of two reasons.

Either a scientific team somewhere or other has discovered that the Great Barrier Reef is even closer to perdition than we’d previously thought – or someone in Cairns has been so mind-bogglingly naff that it stands out, even in our crazy world, like the proverbial dogs balls.

This story falls into the latter category.

I’d be tempted to dismiss it as a publicity stunt for the author of ‘The Unknown Terrorist’, but regrettably this saga is all too believable.

The hapless Mr Chalk may, in fact, have been rather lucky to be accosted by a bouncer who was rather ‘soft on terror’.

What is the correct procedure if a suspected ‘unknown terrorist’ is sighted in Cairns, I wonder?

The pub’s bouncer apparently thought it was sufficient to ask the offender to leave. While this may suffice for drunks, it scarcely does a ‘terrorist’ justice. Do we really want these people peddling unknown terror outside licensed premises,... in the streets of this fine city, on the hill slopes or around the beaches?

The right thing to do, I imagine, is to keep the suspect under observation while a colleague calls the ‘anti-terrorism’ line on 1800 123 400 (another tax-payer funded absurdity that enjoys bipartisan support).

If the Cairns police are anything like their London counterparts, this will lead, from time to time, to the summary execution of the suspect, even if he happens to be a completely different bloke.

Some may find this harsh, but it is, of course, a small price to pay to keep our city safe from the scourge of terrorism.

Many pay a higher price. Ask an Iraqi.
  • Article by CairnsBlog contributing writer Sid Walker

6 comments:

michael gets it wrong again said...

I hope you apologise about this story, after seeing today in the Cairns Post that there is a completely different story about this wackjob.

Oh, that's right, you're the blogger that only puts up an apology when SUED.

P Samson said...

oh yeah... and the Cairns Post is such a reputatable source of information!!! hahahhaa

Sid Walker said...

> I hope you apologise about this story, after seeing today in the Cairns Post that there is a completely different story about this wackjob.

Hi anon.

Are you saying:

(a)the Cairns Post article is more accurate than the report I cited from The Independent?

(b)Michael should apologize if this blog ever covers stories differently from the Cairns Post?

In either case, a reference, quote and/or example might assist your argument.

Effective communication isn't too hard for most people, but a little effort is required.

Lord Fauntleroy said...

To 'michael gets it wrong again'
You were obviously schooled in some state government institution and that probably explains your inability to debate an issue intelligently. You obviously have had previous experiences being/doing/ receiving a wackjob but most of us would not have any understanding of this word or it's meaning. Hopefully it hasn't scarred you in any permanent way. Please elaborate with some explanation as to it's meaning and please, please don't assume we are all as stupid as you.

Sid Walker said...

Well said Fauntleroy!

I wasn't sure what he meant by 'wackjob' and didn't like to ask. It might be illegal.

In Scotland you can be convicted for on yer bike wackjobs - even in the privacy of your own locked room.

Anonymous said...

Sigggggggghhhhhhh. Why is it always so easy to know which comments are posted by MALES??

"on yer bike" wackjobs - blech!!
Did you really have to share that around??