Wednesday 26 September 2007

Barbie does Cairns

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Cairns market.

Palm Cove Barbie

This princess Barbie is sold only at Myers. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a designer kitchen. Available with or without tummy tuck and face-lift. Comes with the optional Real Estate professional or Car yard owner Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

Trinity Beach Barbie

The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Mini Van and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. PDA, laptop & mobile phone sold separately.

Parramatta Park Barbie

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a Switchblade knife, a Chev Rodeo with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills)

Bayview Heights Barbie

This Noveau Riche yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own cappuccino cup, credit card and Golf club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School William. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Gordonvale Barbie

This pale model comes dressed in her own Jeans West jeans two sizes too small, a similar sized t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a carton of full-strength beer,a pack of durries and a Jimmy Barnes CD set, as well as lots of doof doof music. She can spit over 2½ metres and kick mullet-haired Ken's arse from Central to The Great Northern, when she is drunk. Purchase her ute (made from stolen parts) separately and get a Bad Girlsticker absolutely free.

Woree Barbie
This loud, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Barbie's 2 br besser block house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a caravan that she can park out the back of the mates place.

Edge Hill Adult Education Nuclear Power Protester Barbie

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Blundstone's with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Bacardi Breezers and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
Bungalow Barbie

This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a Health Care Card and Centrelink bus pass. Ken and his 1979 Commodore wagon were available to complete the set, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.


Anonymous said...

where's Barbie's f**ken towel!!

Anonymous said...

The second one is very cute,AMAZING pictures

Anonymous said...

where's suburban barbie, like forest gardens or Cairns high-density residential housing estate suburb Barbie?
Sorree for mouthful.

Anonymous said...

The "author" couldn't find a "suburban barbie" on the web where he copped the rest of these pix. Google tells all.