Monday 20 August 2007

By Crikey, thanks for a laugh!

Thanks to Crikey for this wee giggle today...
  • The truth is, when it comes to booze and womanising, Kevin Rudd just doesn't cut it. The Scores affair is amateur hour stuff, a night on the turps that reveals Kevin .07 as an absolute innocent.

    He'll need to do a lot more than make a single semi-conscious visit to a lap bar if he's going to make a mark on the honour roll of louche, libidinous and lubricated politicians ...
  • Bob Hawke -- boozer, womanizer; a lifetime of big nights out, even dumped his wife for his biographer.
  • Billy Snedden -- died on the job fer chrissakes, though the ''loaded'' condom in question, rumoured to be a designer label, is yet to surface on eBay.
  • Malcolm Fraser -- lost his pants after a big night in Memphis and don't get us started on the cocktail onions.
  • John Curtin -- a recovering alcoholic and Labour icon.
  • Bill Clinton -- one big night after another, some involving cigars, the Oval Office and dry-cleaning, which is just another unacceptable layer of high-risk behaviour.
  • FDR -- had a mistress throughout his presidency.
  • JFK -- no record of the number of mistresses, though there are tales of almost daily turnover. As a president he made a servicable er-ction.
  • John Major -- his affair with health secretary Edwina Currie is about the only thing that ever tweaked the shirt from his underpants.
  • Name a French president -- to not have a mistress would be an electoral liability.

    Then there's the other nagging question in this whole Rudd-Scores affair: it seems inconceivable that Kevin Rudd can have done anything so politically defining without taking a lead from his mentor, the man whose shining example he so shamelessly mimics.

    So if Kevin went to an east side lap bar, what is John Howard hiding?

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peterquixote said...

JFK only had one mistress per month of his thirty month reign,

Anonymous said...

I once went to a strip club, but I didn't inhale.

Anonymous said...

this is a complaint I have just made to the Liquor Licensing mob:
I am stunned by your heavy handed treatment of the Cairns Amateurs Race Meeting. The restrictions you have placed on the organisers and at such a late stage makes for an unworkable scenario. It has been a tradition for many years for racegoers to picnic in tents, wine and dine at the expense of corporate sponsors, enjoy the ambience of the races without having to fight the very large crowds that gather for this special day. Your inflexible approach to one of Cairns' iconic social events has created an inflammtory situation, one which will only hurt this town, locally, nationally and internationally. Already there have been cancellations and no doubt there will be more. Racegoers are there to have fun, to mix with friends and business acquaintences and to drink responsibly. I expect the repercussions of your actions will resound long after the event. I don't expect any easing of these draconian restrictions, however in future years, I would hope that your interpretation and enforcement of the Act will be more in keeping with community expectations.

Michael P Moore said...

But David, had you had too much to drink on the night in question?

Anonymous said...

Michael, tsk, tsk, you forgot to mention Harold HOLT who had several girlfriends. Of course Aussies knew, but no-one then thought it was of any importance.

Anyway, yawwwn, who gives a sod what Rudd did.

I can picture him with a flushed, pink face, wobbling,red rimmed, watery eyes peering dazedly through fogged up spectacle lens, hiccuping away.....ERRRRRRRK!! Say no more.