Wednesday 10 October 2007

Eight Four Sux

I've just subjected myself to nearly 30 minutes of the Mayor's free weekly advertisement on the John McKenzie's 84Sux show.

He calls it Easy Listening, but I can't subscribe to that claim after the pandering that has become the John and Kevin show. I mean, why don't they just go get a room to themselves and get it over and done with?

I couldn't locate a photo of our local iconic John McKenzie, so I'll give you a pic of the Mackenzie clan. I'm sure there's a distant connection somewhere along the line.

The Mayor is a regular Wednesday guest on the show. And what a show it is.

Today he tried to pour out justification for his China Syndrome. We were told about the billions of Chinese and that it's only a few hours flight from our doorstep, and that we need to be doing business with paddy fields and questionable labour markets.

However the actual results and evidence doesn't correlate to this. Or, more importantly, his explanations don't. That's all we've ever asked.

In one refreshing outburst from McKenzie, he asked when we might see direct flights between there and here.

"Look John, I wish I could give you an answer to that, but I can't," said Kevin. "All I can say is that it might be sooner than later."

What a scoop! You heard it first on the John McKenzie show. It was gripping radio. There was a pregnant pause and a presenter gasping for what to say next. The revelation was announced on the John McKenzie show at 10:45am today.

I can see the banner headlines in tomorrow's Cairns Post: "MAYOR BEEN WORKING ON DIRECT FLIGHTS FOR SIX YEARS. NO PROMISES YET".

The fact is there is little that's been put on the public record to date. Most of the reports to Council by the Mayor about "trade missions" to China, are done in closed session. A number of Councillors have concerns on actual quantifiable outcomes. It's fair to say that there is little public confidence from local ratepayers on this subject.

Caller after caller to McKenzie's radio show, the mayor tells his ratepayers that he'll deal with their concerns.

Irene wanted something done. "You're talking to the right guy," said Kevin. "Oh that's great," she sniffled.

Another grumpy light sleeper from Brinsmead said the morning street sweepers wake him about 7am. "They start well before that you know," said the Mayor. "I'll put an end to it and call the contractors."

Joan in Clifton Beach wanted more street signs or numbers, or both. John from Edmonton, or somewhere on the Southside, wanted a dog ban on his neighbourhood park. Another wanted more safety around the Forest Gardens, Anderson Road access roads. .

It was the radio we stay awake for.

Then there was Jeremy. Or as the Mayor called him, John, then James. I mean, he should have remembered his name, because it had all the hallmarks of a set up call, a normal tactic on the Kevin and John Show.

This is when a caller telephones in and pretends to initially not side with the mayor's camp, then unzips his pants and makes him feel like they're old army chums.

Jeremy then announced that "everyone benefits from these junkets to China. No matter where you live in Cairns. There's billions of dollars to gain," he told us.

"I know James," said the Mayor in a senior moment. "Anyone would think I enjoy these trips. If anyone think trips abroad are restful and good for the soul, they are wrong. I'd rather stay here in Cairns, but I am here for the city. That's what I'm here for."

James went on and on and my radio almost seized up in disgrace as it tuned to 84Sux Set Up Radio.

So, I thought I'd put in a call to the Mayor. You know, have a nice chat, see if he enjoyed the chocolates I gave him a few weeks ago.

The guard dog answered the phone. I could have said I was Mike from Mununda, or Bill from Bungalow or Brian from Bayview or Ernie from Edgehill or .. well, you get the general idea.

I said who I was, and asked for a chat about this blog, and the mayor's over the top reaction to it. I thought it was about time he and I talked straight to each other instead of via his lawyer, I mean our Council-Ratepayer-funded lawyer.

The fact that they acted and advised him to send out such a letter to a ratepayer who funds his cheese and cucumber sandwiches says a lot about which law firm you should choose next time you need one.

That aside, I was looking forward to a civil chat about the weather in Shanghai and how the rice tea was and who's watering the garden now that he's back home. Things like that.

The guard dog, said "Well, this is John's show, and I don't want to get into trouble you know. I will go and ask John and call you back."

No surprises, he didn't call back.

John probably wasn't in for a bun, or a Bund fight more like. If John did ask KB if he wanted to chat to me, I could only imagine the conversation...

JM: That Blog guy just called and wants to chat to you on air.

KB: What's a blog?

JM: You know, that guy. That ratepayer who's been raising all those questions about you spending money. Our money. My money. $250,000 every year alone, to go to China. That guy.

KB: I don't want to talk to that %$#*&. I mean, how dare he try to question me and my reasons to go to China, or anywhere else for that matter.

JM: Well, he might have a point Kev. And you can tell him to his face.

KB: Nah. He can bugga off. He might be a ratepayer. He might be a local resident. But I have no reason to be answerable to him on such questions.

JM: If you don't, I bet he'll write about it on the blog.

KB: What's a blog?

JM: It's a website where about 800 locals a day are reading and writing comments. A lot of stuff about your Council and what direction it's been going in. Stuff that people seem to be interested in.

KB: When's this ad break finish?

JM: Oh don't worry, we play a shit load of adverts here. The listeners don't seem to care.

KB: By the way John, I bought you back this little something from my trip for you. Just takes two small AA's.

JM: Well, I guess it's the thought that counts. Did you bring one back for Cochrane as well? She'd appreciate it.

KB: I've lost her number. Anyway, she doesn't matter cos she doesn't have any committee anymore.

JM: So, you don't want to talk to the blog guy?

KB: What's a blog?

JM: Never mind. We're almost out of time.


Anonymous said...

believe it or not but McKenzie is actaully an ancient Egyptian name!
ps. funny post mr moore,lol.

Anonymous said...

The picture of John McKenzie is pretty darn close - especially the cheesy wig he wears from Crazy Clark's.

If you're going to go on the radio with this guy, please ask him about the free trips he's received in exchange for advertising a travel agent. I for one would like to know if he declares this as income with the ATO.

Anonymous said...

What is AM Radio? I've heard it mentioned in really old books. It's a dinosaur burial ground isn't it?

Anonymous said...

John McKenzie is just a poor old queen looking for attention. He used to lambast poor ole Peter Beattie from pillar to post, and then the next day he'd be "interviewing" Beattie and just kissing his arse, instead of asking him the tough questions.

Unknown said...

KB is just the man for a China junket,
oops I mean trade mission.
He speaks such fluent Chinese,
many dialects too.
I'm sure they would be very impressed by a mayor of a population of 130,000

Anonymous said...

Dear old McKenzie, a quaint old aberration desperately banging away on his increasingly irrelevant morning show. KB is the highlight of his week and you can actually hear the excitement in his voice when the Big Windbag graces the studio to share the mic. But that's nothing - NOTHING -compared to his excitement of a CYCLONE, "Now over to Bluey at Second Beach. Talk to me Bluey ... about wind gusts .... "

Anonymous said...

If your are reading this KB, have some guts and debate this in public, not in your controlled environment of AM846. A true leader would stand up for themself and be proud of their decisions. It is now evident that you have called on lawyers on numerous occasions whenever someone has managed to expose you. Cairns residents are not even allowed to question your moves without the lawyers being called in. What have you got to hide? Obviously something, or more likely lots of things. I have a strong feeling some of your little secrets may be 'leaked' in the lead up to the election.

Anonymous said...

John McKenzie was the most embarrassing face of Cairns in the bad old days when we only had one radio station. Tom Pyne (the then Mayor) was known colloquially as the gynaecologist back then - cause when ever someone phoned up he was "looking into that".....
Nothing has changed on the John McKenzie show in 25 years, except his ego has grown as his audience has shrunk….

Anonymous said...

Yesterday I tuned into 84sux to hear what the Mayor had to say re his threat to Michael Moore. I was disappointed or so I thought at the time. The usual Q and A routine with callers with genuine concerns or was it? It wasn’t until the man with the dogs in the park complaint that I realized that something very unusual was going on. Kevvie had been labouring on this one answer for about 20 minutes. Instead of saying in the first 10 seconds, “Yes we will put more doggy poo bags in the park” and “Yes, we will put more signs up about dogs on leads” and “conduct a public awareness campaign”, Kevvie went on and on and on. in a 45 min segment Kevvie only dealt with about 4 calls. That is when the penny dropped…..Any other session, John McKenzie is rudely cutting callers off and moving onto the next issue. Such a contrived and false performance no doubt trying to convince us all out here in voter land, that its business as usual at the Council.

To the caller who stupidly admitted that he never takes his dogs for a walk and that they never leave his yard, I hope the RSPCA catch up with you and fine you substantially for animal cruelty.

To John McKenzie, well what I can I say other than that he is a legend only in his own lunch hour and any listener with a shred of intelligence, regularly tunes in elsewhere.

Anonymous said...

Macca is one of the funniest people on radio.
I crackup when he starts whispering into the mic " ...because thats not politically correct" or when he pronounces Moet - "mow it" or Camenbert - "CamenBERT"
Questions to KB about every subject under the sun that he has no control over like:
global warming
housing affordability
petrol prices
Kev just raves on & on, you can change stations for 20 minutes, change back & KB is still talking about the same thing.
They are a marriage made in Turtle Cove

Anonymous said...

To anonymous above. I went to the Epernay in France and visited the Moet cellars. I'm afraid the official pronunciation in English actually is 'mow-et'. If you pronounce it 'moway' or 'mowee' you are wrong. And yes, its not hard obvious to see that Macca loves old KB. He'll plug his mate as much as possible leading into the election, and his over 60's listeners will agree with him and vote KB.

Anonymous said...

KB you are a gutless wonder. Not brave enough to face Mr Moore in person, nor on the radio. Think he might just say a few home truths that you cant cope with ??
We as a community are fed up with your bully boy tactics and want some answers from you.
Make a time and place to talk to Mr Moore , and make sure there are NO ratepayer funded lawyers present.
Be a big boy Kevin....and act like a man.

Anonymous said...

84sux would have to be the worst radio station in Cairns, and John McKenzie is the most boring old fart, with the worst rug in history.
Get rid of them both I say !!!
And take that other old fart Kevin with them !!

Anonymous said...

Verbal JUDO? Google it, see who's been there and done it!! Guage the results for yourself.