Tuesday 8 March 2011

You know you're in Christchurch when...

* You know what that extra gear lever on your 4X4 is for
* Geonet is your homepage
* A bucket of shit is no longer that old car you drive
* Peeing in a bush feels totally natural
* You know how to refuel a generator, start it and know the load it will handle
* The kids have stopped asking for a sandpit and want a quad bike instead
* You actually understand the conditions of your "House and Contents" Insurance policy
* You know the location of all the best toilets in town
* As soon as it rains your deck is full of containers to collect fresh water
* Having a third person under a door frame is not an invasion of personal space
* You go 'pfffff' when Wellington has a 4.5 earthquake that's 40km deep
* Earthquakes are a source of fun guessing the sizes and direction
* You see lovely old buildings on TV in another city and your first thought is how long they will last in a quake
* Everyone has a long drop toilet out back
* You sleep in one suburb and shower in another
* Your mayor describes your city as "munted."
* Going to Wellington to escape earthquakes makes sense
* You see tanks driving around town
* The roads are full of traffic but the shops are empty
* A dust mask is the new fashion statement
* The rest of the country offers you a place to stay
* Voluntarily staying in Timaru for five days seems like a good idea
* A game of Jenga only lasts three minutes
* You finally realize the media really are blood-sucking vampires
* You have dust mask tan lines
* You use the term "liquefaction" in casual conversation. "My, would you like some liquefaction after dinner?"
* Helicopters clattering overhead is normal
* "Danger No Entry" signs are just a suggestion
* You now have a survival kit
* After earthquakes, high winds and heavy rain, you are just waiting for the four horsemen of the Apocalypse

Too soon?


Isidore Beuzon said...

A game of Jenga only lasts three minutes" is my personal favorite!

Paul Drabble said...

a rock sells for $44,000 on TradeMe