Wednesday 9 July 2008

I have a story

Austrian madman, Josef Fritzl is planning to make a killing, monetarily that is, on his 24-year imprisonment of his daughter.

He's announced that he plans on selling his story to the highest bidder.

Now, only read ahead if you're not gunna send me a silly PC complaint.

I believe it my duty to bring you some (questionable) Fritzl jokes...

  • Austrian authorities have said that Josef Fritzl has been improving as a father as of late. In fact, police have said that he has "been coming into his own".

  • After their lifetime of sexual abuse, psychiatrists treating the Fritzl children have decided it's best to bring in a Catholic Priest. Not for spiritual guidance, but to avoid withdrawal symptoms.

  • You know you've got a shit sex life when some woman locked in a cellar for 24 years is getting it more than you!

  • Austrian nonce Josef Fritzl is writing a new book. People are doubting though whether it will be a best cellar.

  • I bought Elizabeth Fritzl's diary off eBay. It's really boring...

    Monday - stayed in
    Tuesday - stayed in
    Wednesday - stayed in
    Thursday - stayed in
    Friday - stayed in
    Saturday - stayed in
    Sunday - stayed in. Shagged dad.

  • Josef Fritzl's kids that were locked in the cellar were said to be shaken, but after living off sandwiches they are said to be healthy. Josef has claimed that they were all interbred.

  • Q: What's the population of Austria?
    A: About twice as many as you'd think.

  • An Austrian woman is like a good wine. Best left to mature in a cellar.

  • After it emerged that a man locked his daughter in a cellar for 24 years and inflicted beatings and rape, the world reacted with shock upon hearing the news. That is, all except the Muslim community, who couldn't understand what all the fuss was about.

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