Friday 2 April 2010

'It's one hell of a place to spend an Easter holiday' - Jesus of Nazareth

Jesus dies and goes up to Heaven.
The first thing he does is look for his father, as he has never met the man before and is curious as to what he looks like, and whether or not Jesus looks like his mother or father.
He looks high and low but cannot find him.
"Where is my father?" St Peter says he doesn't know.

He asks the Archangel Gabriel "Where is my father?" But Gabriel doesn't know also.

He asks John the Baptist "Where is my father?" But John does not know. So he wanders Heaven, impatiently searching.

Suddenly he sees out of the mist an old man coming toward him. The man is very old, with white hair, stooped over a little. "Stop!" Jesus yells. "Who are you?"

"Oh, please help me, I am an old man in search of my son." Jesus is very curious. Could this be his father? "Tell me of your son, old man."

"Oh, you would know him if you saw him. Holes in his hand where the nails used to be, he was nailed to a cross, you know..."

"Father!" Screams Jesus.

"Pinocchio!" yells the old man.
[CairnsBlog wishes all readers a happy, safe Easter / Passover / Agnostic four-day break- may your god go with you, whatever you perceive him/her/it to be.]


Cameron Martin said...

I'm offended. Don't you know how religous I am. Just wrote some more words. Titled, "since when do rabbits lay eggs

Al said...

Reminds me of a definition I once read:
"TEACHING Christianity is perpetuating the belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so that he can remove from your soul an evil force that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree".
Sounds about right, though I might be missing something. Heaven perhaps?