Thursday 23 July 2009

Must see tee vee

Ever catch that "this is my view, I'm John Mackenzie" that tails the Channel 7 news in the evening?

The illustrious John Mackenzie, usually infamous for his radio talk back show on 846 AM that has been on air around 73 years, also moonlights as an aspiring evening television presenter? John spouts opinion and stories, a tamed-down version of his morning shock radio, all condensed into three minutes of must-see tee vee.

I've been meaning to capture it on celluloid, it's just one of those special Kodak moments that should be recorded.

Last night's episode was rather gripping.

It was all about floating effluent in flood-prone inner city Cairns suburbs. Seems like John has researched the subject to some degree of morbid interest. I mean, he deals in the subject every day, so who better to lecture us on it?

Mackenzie even manged to dig up a former Council engineer who looked like he just rolled out of bed for the camera-opportunity. However he offered little solution to the problem that evidently arises when some areas flood and sewers let go their number twos when the tides and rains do their darnest.

According to the learned Mr Mackenzie, human waste pours though people's living rooms when the floods come. He asked the retired engineer what could be done.

"I don't know, maybe they [Council] should get together and sort it out. I mean I can't think of anything worse. I don't know how they would ever get rid of it." The retired engineer didn't have an answer why it happens, or what to do about it.

Compelling reporting. It was the kind of dinner-time telly we all wait for in regional Queensland, thanks to the good folk at Channel 7.

A classic Mackenzie line made it to the screen in the final cut.

Whilst showing old flooding footage with children playing in flooded suburban streets John exclaimed, with a dead-pan face, that "they walk through the water undeterred." An odd choice of word in such a tale. It came across and sounded like "under de turd"! Indeed they were. Probably, but most likely not.

John then demanded that the authories take action following his expose.

Three minutes of talking shit, literally. In every way.

Footnote: It's rather difficult to locate an up-to-date photo of the elusive John Mackenzie, he's like Michael Jackson (before he died). So I found his namesake in an early edition of Vanity Fair that will do the trick. Pictured is John Mackenzie Grieve, who was a spy, painted in December 1877. Actually, not a bad likeness.

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