Tuesday 26 April 2011

Imagine 2013 Cairns, Australia

Just in time for some great Easter reading, in Terry Vance's first story on his new Cush Over Cairns blog, he looks at our local government in 2013.

"The subject of politics has always fascinated me as it seems to attract both the worst and the best in human beings," Terry says. My new blog is a tongue-in-cheek look at our local Government and the type of Council we just might have one day"

He says his story is purely
a work of fiction and all characters and events, are fictitious and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. I'm not so sure.
This tale is titled Poor little Flying Foxes...

His Worship the Mayor of Cairns, Colonel (Retired) Ken Menzies Cush scowled.

It was a scowl described by his first wife, Joyce, as "Churchillian and powerful" while his current
wife, Brandi giggled and said he looked like "one of those funny dogs."

The object of His Worship's displeasure was another woman. Another young woman. One Councillor Skye Lovelady, aged 23, whom the people in Division 9 of the Cairns Regional Council had decided to vote in as their representative during last years Council elections. Yes, the good folk of the Northern beaches, the suburbs of Kewarra Beach, Trinity Beach and Smithfield had all voted in the one and only Greens Party Councillor in the entire Council. A tree-hugging, bicycle-riding, Bob Brown loving, carbon tax supporter who was studying some crap rubbish about Environmental Science! Cush couldn't believe it, but reckoned it was because all the half wits at the local uni must have voted for her plus all the young men in the area who were stupefied by her blonde Barbie doll looks. Oh, and her tits.

His face darkened as he watched Councillor Lovelady stand on a chair and address the growing crowd outside the Cairns Regional Council Chambers. From what he could make out, there would have been at least two thousand people all thronging around the limited space, carrying placards with slogans on like "KILLER CUSH" while others who looked like druggies carried placards with photographs of baby flying foxes all wrapped up like little babies.

The TV crews were all there, focusing on Lovelady and her long legs. He felt his blood pressure rising and his hands clench involuntarily as he imagined the sheer pleasure of wringing that skinny brown throat of hers.

So, he had gotten rid of all the hundreds of shrieking, filthy, mankey flying foxes from beside the Cairns Library. Yep, he had arranged to have them all killed. He wasn't the sort of man to quibble when it came to tough decisions. That's why he was the Mayor of Cairns. He had campaigned on his tough man image by citing his years of military service in Iraq and Afghanistan. His campaign slogan was "Tough times need a strong leader!" The people of Cairns reckoned he was right too, because he won the Mayoralty in a landslide.

Suddenly conscious that he wasn't alone in the downstairs foyer of the City Council Chambers, His Worship turned abruptly on his heel and spotted Mervyn Mingin, the Division 5 Councillor, watching him with a silly grin on his black face. "It's your call, bossman," Mingin chuckled, waving a hand to the outside crowd.

Cush felt his face flush even more purple if that was possible. Councillor Mingin was the only aboriginal Councillor on the Council and in fact was the first ever aboriginal Councillor ever elected on the Cairns Regional Council. He stood for election as an Independent, but Cush and the other Councillors knew he was backed by the Labor dogs. Cunning, sly politics at its worst. He, Cush, had nothing against aboriginal people, but why his own political party couldn't have chosen an agreeable one who would quietly do as he was told to and not cause any shit to happen, he didn't know. As it was, Mingin was swept into office representing the largely black suburbs of Manoora, Manunda and Westcourt, to cheering hysterical crowds of aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. Mingin was a former Queensland rugby leagues star player and built like a big black brick shithouse. Cush loathed him as much as he did Barbie-doll-flying-fox-loving Councillor Lovelady.

Clearing his throat, and squaring his shoulders, His Worship the Mayor, strode forward and opened the doors to the waiting media and chanting crowd. The roar which greeted him, 'KILLERRRR!' 'KILLERRR!' was like an atomic blast, and he staggered backwards under its force, falling down on his bum where the TV cameras continued to film him.

To be continued.....

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