Thursday 3 April 2008

We welcome GAZUMPA

Former Douglas Councillor, Rod Davis, share his first GAZUMPA column with CairnsBlog readers...

With the famous headline, “Just Get On With It”, Douglas did as they were told , and put the torch to Kevin Burn. Fleeced by a shearer called Val, down the shute slid the Unity Party. Not unlike Jeff Kennett with weight problem, apparently it’s KB’s turn to be beyond blue.

Then there were two. Unity Party members that is. And with just 2 left standing in the Unity Party, the ‘hung’ in hung party vote swings like a withered prawn star.

But partisan politics aside, the local erections were clearly all about the chics. Go the girls. The sisters are doing it for themselves. It’s Julia-a-Hoy. It’s Fancy Nancy Lanskey, vs Oops it’s Coups. Val, Marg, Julia, Kirsten, Nancy and Di.....yes, that’s 6 chics, to 5 blokes in the CRC. Let’s face it, us blokes have just about buggered the planet, so hey, surely the chics can’t do any worse. I mean look at the former Douglas, 6 blokes to one chic. I rest my case.

Like it or not, it’s maybe time that some of the rusted-on old blokes had a good spray of CRC. All of a sudden the angst that was the daily life of certain Douglas Shire Council managers, has shifted south. Even the Sno had to move south because of atmospheric changes. If I was one of the former, ’favoured blokes” on the Cairns Council staff, I’d walk down the corridors of power with my back to the wall .

As for me, well, clearly in times of the stainless fridge, my fridge magnet election strategy failed hopelessly. Like dead ducks in Chinatown window, we of the [former] Douglas Shire Council were pasted and smoked before we even hit the pot. So I’m now with the amalgamation thing. Yes, I’ve asked my dentist to refill my mouth with mercury amalgams. I’m fluoridating the budgie.

I’ve cashed Jason O’Brien’s 150 bucks, and bought myself some S&M rubber and leather, a can of CRC, and I’m just waiting for my first whipping.

The Rodlimess.


Anonymous said...

Roddo, it's worse/better than you think. There's 7 sheilas and only 4 fellas in the new Council. Go girls go.

Anonymous said...

Ooops, ya right...7 chics, not 6. The magnificent 7. Or 7 with Mag’, at least.

I’ve been making that mistake all my life. I could have been a roadie for the band, “Everything But The Girl.”

Maybe I was confusing the count of chics and eggs? You know what they say. Or maybe some one just laid one when I wasn’t looking. An egg that is. Mind you, live sex in the chambers could up public attendance.

Anyway, blokes have buggered the world, so give the chics a go. I gotta run, the old XR Honda is waiting to take me to the nearest sacred site for the night. Meg Falls. Hopefully I won’t go over the falls, after again muddling up the secret women’s spot, with the sacred men’s hangout.

Anonymous said...

For my money, it's not only the blokes who buggered things up. There have been a few crook dames around the halls of power as well.

Nice to see you can have a laugh at yourself anyway.