Wednesday 3 February 2010

Obama for Port Douglas, cigars optional

You know you're in a parallel universe when a bunch of fluoride-invested locals start to yearn for the first black man to ever visit Port Douglas.
Obama for Port Douglas is a new group on Facebook with 545 "fans."
They are trying to lure the leader of the not-so-free world Barack Obama, to a place that many in Cairns call Port Uglyarse.
Cairns Regional Mayor Val Schier says that Port Douglas is is the jewel in the crown of Tropical North Queensland.
"How can Obama resist? Hopefully Bill Clinton's been in his ear and has told him how wonderful a holiday in Port would be," Schier says.
Even Queensland Premier Anna Bligh, in her most un-asset sale press release to date, jumped on the Obama bandwagon.
If he does trek north to Cairns next month, and take a sharp right-hand turn out of the airport to avoid the Kevin Byrne Memorial City Place, he will join other yanky A-listers like Matthew McConaughey, Bill Clinton, Jerry Seinfeld, and even Alecia Beth Moore. Oh, and that Kiwi phone-thrower, Russell Crowe.
I think if he gets his young men and woman out of Afghanistan and Iraq this year, it will be a better achievement than walking along Four Mile Beach spotting the sediment run-off into the Great Barrier Reef.


Mel in Palm Cove said...

While the group in Port Douglas is busy working the social networking sites that neither Obama nor his inner circle read, another group in Palm Cove is working the real levers of power behind the scenes to get the President and his family in the Northern Beaches. A young, athletic American President with children doesn't belong in Port Douglas. Let's face it, Port is where wealthy Australians go to die.

A visit to Cairns and the Northern Beaches would boost Palm Cove and Cairns as a FAMILY destination, a much more appropriate marketing hook for the region.

Jason and Sue said...

Obama for Yorkeys KNOB!!!

Tommy said...

Port is an over-rated over-priced dump! And just one minor prang on the road to Cairns results in a score of people missing their plane home.

Unknown said...

Are people absolutely mad on this blog? Port is lovely and remains a beautiful place to stay..If he does the right things like an open to the public reef trip ..He needs to do proper Marlin fish with some real Aussie blokes followed by a few beers down at the Combines Club. A trip to the market is a must and he should take cabs between the BIG 4 holiday park where he should stay in a family cabin..where will get to have a Barby with the grey nomads- he will have the time of his life and actually learn more about Australia in a few days than most do in a lifetime..alternately he could go to Palm Cove and listen to some Dutch or German idiots that are Perm Residents who just live there half the year droning on about fuc*8*g Real Estate prices.. Obama have an Aussie holiday not some plastic Palm Cove thing Euro wankfest..

Hypho said...

At least Obama would have a wallet thick enough to pay Port's over priced accommodation costs.

nocturnal congress said...

Frankly, I'd rather see Obama introduce a national health scheme for Americans, introduce a realistic national minimum wage and conditions of employment, whack huge taxes on the outsourced corporations, ditto the filthy rich, and bring the troops home...for a start.

Unknown said...

Dear Howard,you don't know the difference between a German and a Dutchman,but you obviously have an issue with them. I suppose they all look and sound the same to you, bit like Aussies and Kiwis look and sound the same to the rest of the world.You don't mind I call you a Kiwi, do you ?

How about the English,Scottish and Irish, not to mention the French,Greeks,Italians and various Asian nationalities that make up the population of Cairns and Palm Cove ? All part of your plastic Euro wankfest, whatever that is ?

You seem to have an issue with permanent residents who only spend half the year in good old Oz,because they can.

How about the thousands of true blue Aussies who spend half the year in Bali,Thailand or the Philippines? Any issues with them ?

Yes Port is still a nice place, although not as nice as 20 years ago when I lived there. But the natural surroundings are as beautiful as ever.

It is also full of pretentious rich wankers, who don't like paying their bills, squeeze every last dollar out of an honest tradesman and killed the live music scene with their whinging and complaining.

And most of the so-called "real locals' are actually from Victoria. I have got no issue with that, but you might have.

Anyway,if Obama wants to have a true Aussie experience, he should come to Earlville. We'll take him to the shopping centre and he can see entire "authentic real local Aussie" families without necks waddling through the place, stuffing themselves on American junk food.

Obama for the Obese...yeah !!!

Frank said...

Port Douglas is being considered because it is regarded as a safe destination for the U.S. president to visit. There's nothing to stop locals staging a peaceful demonstration about U.S. foreign policy (I'm sure Bryan Law will have a go!). Obama may not visit Melbourne at all, perhaps not surprising after the allegedly racist attacks on Indian students.

Unknown said...

Grateful Mac far from it I actually like real German and Dutch people who back in their own country in general have rented for generations and do not give 2 hoots about how much equity they have made ( i do not care how much they have or haven't made-its just they insist on telling you-thats the point!)..Its just the particular type that seems to see money as there god and wear it like a Mercedes Benz badge.. Anyone who tries to flaunt their money in a most boerish way should be despised and is exactly the type i mention living in the Northern Beaches..they can't help theselves that they are such wankers.

I have to say that your last point about Earlville is highly funny and accurate..much like the beer swilling stein loving tossers i was referring to on the beaches.. Isn't life funny.

Unknown said...

Fair enough Howard, but I know plenty of Aussies as well who keep carrying on about their real estate profits, so why single out the Germans and Dutch ? The white shoe brigade is alive and well.But I get your point and I know the type you are talking about. Maybe we can have a beer in the Combined one day and talk about the good old days ? And yes, life is funny most of the time !